How To Conquer Insanity In Self Employment
What drove you over the edge? What was is that pushed you into leaving the 9-5 ratrace and starting your own business?
Was it a lack of passion? Lack of development? Lack of money? Lack of diversity?
Whatever it was, it was strong enough to push you from the relative security of a permanent position working for someone else, into the tempest that is self-employment.
Firstly, bra-freakin-vo *audience applause*. That is no small step you’ve taken, and you should be more than a little bit proud of yourself. Self employment is a risk, but like all good things in life, it’s a risk worth taking.
So now you’re here, wherever ‘here’ is for you. Your living room, your favourite cafe, a sweet little open workspace that’s opened up down the road (SO useful, havens away from the endless whisperings of Netflix).
And then it hits you…
what the f?*& do I do now?
The questions, doubts, nagging insecurities and everyone’s favourite complex, imposter syndrome, come to move into your head. And you start trying to frantically throw something together, to at least create the semblance of a functioning, professional adult person.
You and I both know how it goes. We’ve been there before, and before long you’re losing sleep, eating packets of Oreos for lunch and using walks to the supermarket for coffee and biscuits as excuses for exercise.
In the midst of all this upheaval, finding ways to stay sane and healthy is paramount.
Afterall if you’re not showing up for your mental and physical well being, how can you hope to show up effectively to kick some ass in your new business venture?
When I first started my business, I was guilty of some pretty student-style living.
Staying up till stupid o'clock in the morning (I’m a night owl, so sue me), waking up after 11am and wandering around aimlessly till my brain kicked in around 2pm.
There was no drive, no agenda because I was still in the throes of figuring out my ‘Why’ (I just didn’t realise it yet).
I was wasting my days feeling inept, useless and terrified that I’d just left a secure job with regular payments for absolutely nothing. Nada. Zip.
I had to take a step back and look at my habits, and get seriously real with myself. Slapping yourself in the face with reality is a tried and proven way to light a fire under your butt, and not seeing any tangible progress from the day I left that awful office to the day I took that long look in the mirror, that was the spark I needed.
Throwing out my Oreo stash was quite possibly one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through, but it was worth it.
(And by throw out I mean stuff my face one last time of course…)
As soon as I started consciously thinking about my well being, mind and body, and trying to live the life of the successful woman that I could see myself becoming, I felt powerful. I felt in control, and it felt good.
Focusing on giving yourself a healthy mind and body is a key step in making sure you have a successful business.
You need to put 110% into your business now, because it’s just you with skin in the game now. No hierarchy of douchey suited management types to throw you a scrappy salary bone at the end of the month while they keep all the juicy marbled meaty goodness for themselves. Now you have to make your own meat!
If you want to succeed, you need to focus on keeping yourself in the best shape possible.
I’ve managed to gradually work in some simple, but truly effective habits that have me keeping my wellbeing as much of a priority as my business. Because we both know that one cannot function without the other.
Conscious Eating
I trust that you already see my Oreo’s for lunch habit was rather less than great for me.
I’ve always been an eat-with-your-eyes kinda girl, but growing up I was always surrounded by wholesome, home cooked food. So I’m more than well acquainted with what a balanced, nutritious meal looks like.
The trouble came when, faced with the stress of essentially starting from square 1, I threw myself into trying to create as much content and consume as much information as possible. All the time I used to put into conscious, mindful eating went out the door; it’s so much easier to order a pizza rather than take 40 minutes out of your day to cook a nutritious meal.
When I took the time to look at myself, it wasn’t a case of me simply hating the way I looked, it was a case of me not feeling powerful or strong anymore. I’m a firm believer that if you feel good inside you’ll feel and look good outside, so I started making it a priority to focus more on what I was putting in my body.
Shona Vertue (I talk about her a lot for good reason!), and her amazing book The Vertue Method, gave me the information and inspiration I needed to get back to my mindful habits.
I rediscovered my love of smoothies (if anyone has a better mango smoothie than me I’ll be damned!), and found a new love in efficiently fuelling my body.
Recognise that I’ve said conscious eating, not dieting. I am a huge foodie, if challenged I could definitely have a good go at finishing a family sized KFC bucket (no surrender!), so if I completely restricted what I could and couldn’t eat, I would quite literally go mad.
I tried the South Beach Diet when I was a teenager, and lets just say for those 2 carb-free weeks, I was the walking embodiment of a nightmare.
So every weekend, I will give myself free reign to eat and drink whatever the hell I want, but within the boundaries of moderation. This little tactic has saved me, and my boyfriend, from various hangry arguments, but most importantly, I feel stronger than ever, and fully capable of being my own boss.
I’m clear eyed, focused and able to make smart and firm decisions without the sugar demons running through my skull like they used to.
It takes some practice, but conscious eating will make sure your body and mind are kept in top condition at all times.
Cliché, but keep a diary
How many mentors, life coaches, entrepreneurs and general Organised Oliver’s have you heard spouting the miraculous virtues of keeping a diary?
Life changing, eye-opening, revolutionary
Yeah I used to be the one rolling my eyes at the screen too, laughing it off as a basic ploy for papermakers to sell notebooks.
How the hell is keeping track of all the nonsense that I do in the day going to make me a better person? Waste of time.
But then I swallowed my pride and bought The 5 Minute Journal, and watched my life turn upside down.
But not for any of the ridiculously over the to reasons you usually hear about.
The biggest cause of stress for me personally is structure. Or more specifically a lack of it.
If I don’t have a clear list of things I have to get done throughout the day, I spiral off into procrastination faster than you can say Netflix. And that was exactly the state I was in when I first started my business.
I was my own boss, so I had no one but myself giving me orders and expectations; for a newbie it was a bit too much for me to take on all at once. So I did what any regular human being would do; I floundered and let procrastination take hold.
I invested (yup, invested) in The 5 Minute Journal because it was marketed as the journal for people who hate journalling. Surprisingly perhaps for a writer, I am not a fan of journals, so I was overjoyed to see that each entry is structured into 5 brief points, taking no more than 5 minutes to fill out. Just like it promised!!
The journal had given me the basic structure I needed to show me where I was going wrong; the key section 3 things that will make today great, is where the magic happens for me.
Those 3 things will be the marker of a fulfilled day, and make sure that as soon as I wake up I have a specific agenda, which isn’t overwhelming or complicated, but which gives me purpose.
Your journal, in whichever format or shape you make it, is your tool for daily structure and self-analysis. Being able to track your activity, mental wellbeing, sleep habits, etc allows you to take a holistic view of You, and tweak your habits in order to manifest the businesswoman you can see yourself becoming.
Listen to your body
I don’t know about you, but I used to ignore my body thinking ‘mind over matter’ and all that nonsense.
Needless to say it didn’t work out well, and after a particularly nasty bout of stomach acid issues, I realised perhaps my body knew more about my wellbeing than my brain did.
I was fighting my body to stay up well into the early hours of the morning working, rather than sleep.
I would listen when my brain said ‘NO TIME’ and reach for the biscuits rather than fuel myself mindfully.
It was when I started allowing myself to not show up and listening to what my body was trying to tell me that I started to see the benefits of self care.
Do you ever wake up and just feel like laying in bed for the rest of the morning?
Laying on the sofa and watching 5 consecutive episodes of Friends?
I do, but instead of fighting myself to get up and do something productive, now I let myself lie there and embrace the nothingness.
Sometimes it’s healthier, and even more productive, for you to give in and just do nothing.
Lord knows the amount of hours and days I’ve wasted away trying to make myself work, when i’d just end up staring at a blank screen for hours feeling like a failure.
One of the kindest things you can do it listen to your body; not only does it encourage a healthier relationships between you & your body, but you experience less anxiety from worrying constantly about everything under the sun, less stress from letting go of things that don’t serve you positively and trying to control everything. Hell, you’ll do a ton of growing too, because you’ll have a clearer, more focused outlook on yourself and your career path!
It took me a while to get there, and I’m guilty of still overriding my body with my brain from time to time. But it has given me the ability to step away from the moment and objectively ask what the best thing for me to do is.
It’s a valuable tool for any business owner to have, the ability to keep your head and rationale during stressful times, and I wouldn’t have gotten there at all without first being able to listen to lil ol’ me.
I’m still working on developing myself and my coping mechanisms, but we’ll always be in the pursuit of greatness! We’re all imperfectly perfect, and often the most profound growth happens when you give yourself the space to step back and say ‘right, this here has to change’.
Change without all the guilt, self-doubt and negativity.
Change with positive intent, care and self-love.
Starting your own business is a turbulent and stressful time, but by keeping you as the priority, both body and mind, you can be the solution to your own problems, and become the focused, driven and inspiring business woman you are meant to be.
How do you keep yourself sane while navigating your way through self-employment?
A healthy gym obsession? Baking classes? Rock climbing on the weekends?
Share your wisdom with us, and who knows, you may even pick up a new hobby!
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